I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
