did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
