Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
