Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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