we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
