Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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