how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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