Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
