Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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