This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
