Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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