WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
