Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
