dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
