Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize