I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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