never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
