I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
