Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
