rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
