Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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