she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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