y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize