Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
