If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
