I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
