so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
