Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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