I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
