If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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