The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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