glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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