i already hear my dad disowning me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
