A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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