Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
