Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
