I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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