that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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