Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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