Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
