yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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