Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
