He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
