You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
