This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
