I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
