For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
