Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
