what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
