I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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