I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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