You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
