I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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