how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
where am i from again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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