it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
