Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
