I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
