I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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