u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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