Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
