You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize