If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize