I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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