The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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