You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She even gives head with a lisp.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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