and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
