ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
