Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize