I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Your cock deserves a montage
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
