THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
