tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize