I want to walk on stilts...naked
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
