I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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