Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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