Are we in a gay sports bar?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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